Overcoming Fears

We all have fears. For some it is a fear or heights, for some it is a fear of spiders. All of those fears are valid and how they affect our life is also important. If the fear stops you from living your life fully, you might want to consider trying to overcome that fear.

Let's look first at what a fear really is. Most things we are afraid of are irrational. For example, a fear of spiders or mice. Those things can not really harm us, but our mind makes it out to be more then it really is, so we perceive it as if they could. This kind of division between rational and irrational fear is important to note. It would be probably not very wise to fight a fear of getting lung cancer when someone mentions that you should quit smoking.

So the only fears that we should address are the fears that we know are irrational. What do we do next? There are several ways to go here, but all of them boil down to few things we must do if we want to overcome fear. We must examine where the irrationality of our fear comes from. Can we think of a reason why we are afraid of spiders? If yes simply acknowledge the fact don't do anything else. Next, we must admit to our selves that we are being irrational.

Sometimes it is harder said then done, but it is unavoidable. In order for us to be able to take control over the fear, we have diminish it in our mind first. After that, we must confront the fear.

Here, smaller steps are better then big heroic leaps. So in the case of spiders, you can start by learning about spiders from a book. This will not be as effective, but with small steps we will eventually get us to the point where we can face what we are afraid off. I need to clarify something here.

Once we have confronted the fear, it will not magically disappear. As the matter a fact, you probably will not stop feeling uneasy about the thing you feared. The big difference is that you will now be able to control that fear, instead of it controlling you. Eventually if you face your fear enough times, it might diminish to the point where you will not be afraid at all. This however isn't our goal here. What we want is to regain control over your emotions, so when you are put in the situation where you are afraid, you will be able to take control and handle whatever comes your way.

Alexander Tretjakov
Author of MiWay Time Management System
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